Mr Hankey, The Christmas Poo
Small and Brown, he comes from you
Sit on the toilet, here he comes
Squeeze him tween your festive buns!
A present from down below
Speading joy with a 'howdy ho'!
He's seen the love inside of you
Cos he's a piece of poo!

Sometimes he's nutty, sometimes he's corny
He can be brown, or greenish-brown
But if you eat fibre on Christmas Eve
He might come to your town..
Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
He loves me, I love you
Therefore vicariously, he loves you
'I can make a Mr Hankey too'!

Cartman: 'Well Kyle, where is he?'
Kyle: 'Uh, he's coming..'
Stan: 'Come on dude, Push!'
Kyle: 'I'm trying'
Cartman: 'Wait Wait! I can see his head'
Kyle: 'Here he comes..'
Mr Hankey: 'HOWDY HO!'

I'm Mr Hankey, the Christmas poo..
Seasons greetings to all of you..
Lets sing songs, and dance, and play..
Now, before I melt away..
Here's a game I like to play..
Stick me in your mouth and try to say..
'Howdy ho ho, yum yum yum
Christmas time has come!'

Sometimes he's runny, sometimes he's firm
Sometimes he practically water..
Sometimes he hangs off the end of your ass
And wont fall in the toilet,
cos he's just clinging to your sphincter
And he wont drop off, and so you shake your ass around..
And try to get it to drop in the toilet
And finally it does..

Mr Hankey the Christmas Poo
Christmas leaves, he must leave too..
Flush him down, but he's never gone,
His smell and his spirit lingers on.
Howdy ho!

2. Merry Fucking Christmas
Söyleyen: Mr Garrison
I heard there is no Christmas,
In the silly Middle East..
No Trees, no Snow, no Santa Claus,
They have Different Religious beliefs..
They Believe in Muhammad,
And not in our Holiday..
And so every December,
I go to the Middle East and say..

Hey there Mr Muslim, Merry Fucking Christmas
Put down that book 'The Koran'
and hear some holiday wishes
Incase you haven't noticed,
it's Jesus's Birthday
So get off you heathen Muslim Ass
And fucking celebrate.

There is no holiday season in india,
i've heard..
They don't hang up their stockings,
and that is just absurd..
They've never read a Christmas Story,
They Don't know what Rudolph is about..
And that's why in December,
I'll go to india and shout..

Hey there Mr Hinduist, Merry Fucking Christmas
Dring some 'nog, and eat some Beef
and pass it to the Missus
Incase you haven't noticed,
It's Jesus's Birthday
So get off your heathen hindu ass,
And fucking celebrate.

Now I heard that in Japan,
Everyone just lives in sin..
They pray to several gods,
And put needles in their skin..
On December twenty-fifth,
all they do is eat a cake..
and that is why i'll go to Japan,
and walk around and say..

Hey there Mr Shintoist, Merry Fucking Christmas
God is gonna kick your ass You infidelic pagan scum.
Incase you haven't noticed,
There's festive things to do
So lets all rejoice for Jesus
and Merry Fucking Christmas to you.

On Christmas Day, I travel round the world and say..
Taoists, Korishnas, Buddists
and all you atheists too..
Merry Fucking Christmas to you.
Thank you, Mr Hat..

3. O Holy night
Söyleyen: Eric Cartman
O holy night, the stars are Brightly shining..
It is the night of our dear savior's birth.
O holy night, the something.. something.. distance.
It is the night with the Christmas trees and pie.
Jesus was born, and so I get presents
Thank you Jesus for being born!

Fall [Faaalll] On your knees.. [On your knees]
And hear.. [can't you hear] The angel's something.. [sesler]
O night [O night] Divine! [Divine]
The night when I get presents, O night [O night]
Beefcake! Oh night, O night devine..

4. Dead, Dead, Dead
Söyleyenler: Juan Schwartz ve the South Park Kids Choir
Dead, Dead, Dead, someday you'll be dead
Dead, Dead, Dead, someday we'll all be dead.
The minute we're born, we start dying,
We die a little more every day..
Young or old, rich or poor,
There's nothing we can do to stop it..
So look long at that Christmas tree,
It may be the last one that you see..
Decorate your house in green and red,
'cos someday you'll be dead..

Dead, Dead, Dead, someday you'll be dead
Dead, Dead, Dead, someday we'll all be dead.
It might happen in a couple months
Or 50 years from now..
But no matter when it happens
It will seem too soon to you..
So be sure on Christmas eve
When you snuggle into bed..
That you thank God for your family
'cos someday they'll be dead..

Dead, Dead, Dead, someday you'll be dead
Dead, Dead, Dead, someday we'll all be dead.
Who knows how many Christmas's
Are left in their short lives?
Nobody knows, that my point!
Enjoy them while you can.
And so on Christmas morning
Let good tidings fill your head..
What a festive season,
Someday you'll be dead

Dead, Dead, Dead, someday you'll be dead
Dead, Dead, Dead, everyone you know, dead.
A very Merry Christmas to you!
Dead, Dead, Dead..
Merry Christmas Everybody!

5. Carol of the Bells
Söyleyen: Mr Mackey
Hark! Hear the Bells, Sweet Silver Bells,
All seem to say, Ding Dong, m'kay.
Christmas is here, Bringing good cheer,
To young and old, meek and the bold.
Ding-Dong-Ding-Dong, That is their song,
With joyful ring, all caroling

One seems to hear, words of the cheer
From everywhere, filling the air, m'kay
Oh, how they pound, raising the sound
or here and there, telling their tale
Gailly they ring, While People sing
Songs of the Cheer, Christmas is here

On, on they send, on without end
Their Joyful tone, to every home
Hark! Hear the bells, sweet silver bells
All seem to say, Ding Dong, m'kay
On, on they send, On without end
Their joyful tone, to every home.
Ding-dong-ding-dong m'kay-m'kay-m'kay... m'kay!

6. A Lonely Jew on Christmas
Söyleyenler: Kyle Broflovski ve 'Special Mystery Guest'
It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas
My Friends won't let me join in any games..
And I can't sing Christmas songs
Or decorate a Christmas tree..
Or leave water out for Rudolph
cos there's something wrong with me..
My people don't believe in Jesus Christ's divinity..
I'm a Jew, a Lonely Jew.. on Christmas.

Chanukkah is nice, but why is it,
That Santa passes over my house every year?
And instead of eating Ham
I have to eat Kosher Lekeesh..
Instead of Silent Night
I'm singing hou-hazch-tou-gavish..
And what the fuck is up
With lighting all these fucking Candles, tell me please?
I'm a Jew, a Lonely Jew..
I'd be merry, but i'm Hebrew.. on Christmas.

Hey Little Boy, I can't help but hear,
You're feeling left out of Christmas Cheer..
But i've come to see that you shouldn't be sad
'Cos this is the one month that you shoud be glad..

Because it's nice to be a Jew on Christmas
You don't have to deal with the season at all..
You don't have to be on your best behaviour, or give to charity
You don't have to go to grandma's house with your alcoholic family..
And I don't have to sit on some fake Santa's lap
And have him breathe his stinky breath on me!
That's right! You're a Jew, a Stylin' Jew..
It'd a good time, to be Hebrew.. on Christmas.

7. I Saw Three Ships
Söyleyen: Shelley Marsh
I saw three ships come sailing in
On Christmas day, on Christmas Day..
I saw three ships come sailing in
On Christmas day in the morning.
And what was in the ships, all three?
On Christmas day in the [gülüşmeler]
Shut up TURDS!
..was in the ships, all three?
On Christmas day in the morning.

The Virgin Mary and Christ were there [kahkaha sesleri]
On Christmas day, on Christmas day..
The Virgin Mary and [daha fazla kahkahalar]
Shut up TURDS!
..and Christ were there
on Christmas day in the morning.
And let us all rejoice amain [kahkahalar]
I thought I told you to SHUT UP!
..all rejoice amain
On Christmas day in the morning.

Shelley is starting to get pissed.. [kahkahalar]
On Christmas day, on Christmas day.. [daha fazla kahkahalar]
Shelley got up, and killed them turds.. [kahkahalar]
On Christmas day IN THE MORNING!
[Dağılan piano sesi]

8. It happened in Sun Valley
Söyleyenler: Wendy Testaburger ve Stan Marsh
Howdy folks, lets go for a ride
Get your favourite one to sit by your side
Cuddle up in the sleigh
Giddy-up, Nelly Gray
And away we go!
While you're listening to the sleigh bells ring
You're yodelling to your baby
You'll feel nice and warm
No matter how cold it may be!

Take a look at little Jack and Jill
They were skiing down a hill
There's a snow plow turn
Whoops, took a spill
Took a spill on the hill
When you're down, it's a thrill..
to get up again!

Everybody ought to learn to ski
'cos that's how we first met!
We were Jack and Jill
That came down the hill
When I looked at you
My heart took a spill
Took a spill on the hill
It's a thrill that I can't forget!
It happened in Sun Valley
Not so very long ago..
There were sunbeams in the snow
And a twinkle in your eye..
I remember, oh so clearly
That you nearly passed me by..
But then it happened in Sun Valley
When you slipped and fell, so did I!

Wendy: Catch me, Stan! [stan kusar] Eeew!
Look Stan, I made a snow angel! [stan kusar] Eeeew!

I remember, oh so clearly
That you nearly passed me by..
But then it happened in Sun Valley
When you slipped and fell, so did I!
Now every year we go back there
We recall that fall and the moment when
We were there on the hill
So, we both took a spill
And we're Jack and Jill, again!
[wendy kisses stan]
[stan barfs] Eeeeew!

9. O Tannenbaum
Söyleyen: Adolf Hitler
O Tannenbaum, O Tannenbaum.. [O Fir Tree, O Fir Tree..]
Wie grun sind deine Blatter. [As green as your leaves.]
O Tannenbaum, O Tannenbaum.. [O Fir Tree, O Fir Tree..]
Wie grun sind deine Blatter. [As green as your leaves.]
Du grunst nich nur zur Sommerzeit.. [you are green only in summertime.]
Nein auch im winter, wenn es schneit. [Also in winter, when it snows.]
O Tannenbaum, O Tannenbaum.. [O Fir Tree, O Fir Tree..]
Wie grun sind deine.. [As green as your..]

Satan: Hey, Hitler.. What's the matter, little guy?
Hitler: Oh Satan, der tannenbaum, wie treu sind deine Blatter.
[Oh Satan.. The Fir tree, as green as it's leaves.]
Satan: Aww, you don't have a Christmas Tree?
Hitler: Nur zur Sommerzeit, nein, auch im Winter, wenn es schneit.
[only in summertime, also in winter, when it snows!]